dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
