At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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