I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
