she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
