Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
