if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
