Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
