direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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