How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
