I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
