LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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