I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
where are my eyebrows?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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