I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
