The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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