im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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