She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
