What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
