Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
