Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I'm bleeding and have questions
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
