he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
