i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
The air taste purple.
Randomize
