did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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