some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
