I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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