So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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