He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
