sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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