oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
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