mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
