i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
