i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize