I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
