By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
