i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
