hotel room ftw
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
