Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Randomize
