We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
