He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
