last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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