I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
soo... how was my night?
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