dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
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