He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
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