I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
It's blow job season.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
