haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
