let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Randomize
