loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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