I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
