im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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