Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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