Do vagina's smell?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
