You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
