I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
