the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
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