I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
