I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize