Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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