His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
