Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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