Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
