I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
