I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
This house was built for laser tag.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
