What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize