Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
