Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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