South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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