Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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