Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize