You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
