The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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