Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
My breasts were aching with rage.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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