i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize