I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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