we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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