i just had sex bonerless
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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