I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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