He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
