Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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