whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize
