I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Randomize
