i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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