id be glad to
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
