You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
