oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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