her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I have surprise drugs for everyone
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
