Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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