It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
