would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Two words: blizzard sex
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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