We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
