I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
