WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Randomize