Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
